Theory and background

Disenfranchising one’s own grief: Trauma and grieving and parenting children with chronic conditions.

Parallels between a grieving response and the psychological sequelae following the diagnosis of chronic disability, physical or emotional illness in a child have been made by numerous practitioners.
Theorists in trauma and grief suggest that without a working through of the traumatic aspects of the incidents, grieving may not be able to proceed (Eth & Pynoos, 1985). Yet it is extremely difficult to work through trauma and grief, particularly when the loss itself is not socially recognised.

When grief is disenfranchised, not only does an avenue for ventilation close, but grief is not legistamised. Parents are sometimes forced to collude with this situation; they disenfranchise their own grief. This is further potentiated because the source of one's grief remains; it feels like a betrayal of their own child if one grieves for who he or she is not. Amidst all this, there is no time the needs of the child, siblings and family interevenes.

One outcome is that the magnitude of the loss is never adequately grieved for. Trapped inside, diagnosis often retains its traumatic effect, while at the same time the child's ongoing condition is a source of further grief. What we are left with is individuals holding inside a great deal of pain.

The potential for trauma and grief to stand in the way of bonding and attachment between parent and child and to hinder parenting roles is clear. Equally, it is likely that the relationship between parents will be threatened. No two people will grieve at the same pace or in the same way. Mothers and fathers will often force each other to leave their own comfort zones.

The six-week programme of Block and Tackle^TM draws together key principles of both cognative behaviour therapy and grief therapy to produce a range of psychological techniques which are sensitive to the loss, grief and trauma which may parallel the parenting of the child with a chronic condition. The method is two-pronged. Specifically, the approach attempts to legitimate the magnitude of the loss and pay deference to strong emotions, while at the same time individuals explore skills which will facilitate their own adaptation.

The taming of strong emotions is recognised as integral to the course which parents grieving will take. However, in situations of chronicity, managing grief and adaptation represent a lifelong challenge. Parents are encouraged to respect the psyhological strain with which they live and utlise a range of self-prescribed techniques to manage the cycles of their adaptation. Importantly, individuals are exposed to the havoc of unexpressed grief, the relationships which can be lost when individuals do not seek ways to remain connected with their family and friends. Block and Tackle^TM groupwork explores techniques which enhance continuing connections with others, making plans and with who one is.

Brief background

Block and Tackle^TM groups began at Ballarat "Playhouse", now Pinarc, under the support of its then Director, Barbra Shears in 1996. Since then Block and Tackle^TM groups have run in Moorabbin and Frankston, with the support of Moira Inc. (contact Kerry Lyons). Jenny Salgo, Coordinator of Parent-to-Parent has been successful in obtaining funding for the programme to be run in Box Hill. According to the participant feedback and statistical findings, groupwork techniques have early positive effects in the complex adaptation surrounding the parenting of a child with chronic illness and disability.

These initial findings are elaborated on in a paper entitled, Early intervention for mothers of children with intellectual disability: A pilot programme focusing on trauma and grief. Undoubtedly, a number of aspects of this programme are particularly useful.

Standing out are the following:

Leadership training for Block and Tackle^TM Groupwork Techniques.

A two day workshop directs attention to the method of interweaving Block and Tackle^TM techniques with specialised skills of groupwork. Participants are encouraged to bring their experiences and further insight to some of the approaches that are introduced.

Broadly, participants will:

Pre-requisites

Use of Block and Tackle^TM programme

Required supervision

Individuals wishing to use the Block and Tackle^TM programme or use its specific worksheets are required to be supervised at least twice throughout 4 Block and Tackle^TM groups which they run (8 sessions in total).
This allows for onging feedback and consultation on group processes and dynamics. Such supervision would provide debriefing of themes and subject matter which the group leader may find emotionally overwhelming.

The first supervision session would follow week 1, the second supervision session would be prior to the last session (ie. week 6). Although there may be some opening for those from country locations to do this supervision via e-mail, these sessions would generally be run from EHC in Cheltenham. Individuals using Block and Tackle^TM would have access to updated worksheets and phone contact throughout the conducting of their Block and Tackle^TM programme.

Guidelines

Guidelines for facilitating the Block and Tackle^TM programme would be committed to ongoing evaluation and modification of the programme. In this case, pre and post-test measurement instruments are filled out by participants at the beginnin of Week 1 and Week 6. These scores would be added to the evaluation base.

Good opportunities exist for anyone who wished to evaluate this programme further as part of post-graduate research.

Order a place in Introduction to Nonfinite Loss and Grief
Order a place in the next Block and Tackle Group Leader Training course